Self Limits & Boundaries

One of the definitions of a myth is a fiction that looks like a truth. Sometimes it sounds so true that we believe it automatically. Some of these myths come from our family backgrounds. Some come from our theological foundations. And some come from our own misunderstandings. Whatever the source, we should mindfully inves­tigate anything that “sounds-like-truths.”

Many of us fear that setting and keeping limits signals rebellion, or disobedience. In religious and social circles you’ll often hear statements such as, “Your unwillingness to go along with our program shows an unresponsive heart.” Because of this myth, countless individuals remain trapped in endless activities of no genuine spiritual and emotional value.

The truth is life-changing where a lack of boundaries is often a sign of disobedience. People who have shaky limits are often compliant on the outside, but rebellious and resentful on the Inside. They would like to be able to say no, but are afraid. So they cover their fear with a half-hearted yes.

"It’s important to understand that your no is always subject to you. You own your boundaries. They don’t own you. If you set limits with someone, and he or she responds maturely and lovingly, you can renegotiate the boundary."

In addition, you can change the boundary if you are in a safer place. As we’ve probably noticed, some of these myths are genuine misconceptions we may have learned from distort­ed teachings. Yet others simply result from the fear of standing up and saving "NO" to irrational responsibility.

Perhaps we should mindfully review which myths have entangled and ensnared us. And ask God to give us a sense of confidence that he believes in good boundaries more than we do.